I’m 18 years old and it’s 1a.m. in Indianapolis. I’m with my dad, watching Kevin Smith deliver hour six of a seven-hour Q&A as if it’s the first. It is finally my turn to ask a question.
And I open with a reacharound joke.
When you’re a part of a comedy scene, don’t waste your time fighting and holding grudges with other comics. It’s useless. Rise above shit, come together and build something. Because walking around bitter and angry all the time is hacky as fuck.
A friend of a friend posted this little gem on Facebook: How To Appreciate Taking Back Sunday
It is essentially, a primer on how to listen to music in case you forgot, shown through the lens of my favorite band. This, actually, is how you appreciate Taking Back Sunday:
1. Fall in love with a girl who listens to Taking Back Sunday all the time.
2. Dismiss them as whiny, crybaby bullshit.
3. Actually get a chance with said girl, then buy her tickets to a Taking Back Sunday concert for a date.
4. Go to dinner at your parents’ restaurant before the concert, and get told by the girl you’re convinced you love that it’s not working out.
5. Pretend everything is cool for the rest of the dinner.
6. Despite your best instincts, go to the concert with her anyway.
7. Sit through opening bands, conversations with friends also at the Taking Back Sunday concert, and the general feeling that you should crawl up into a ball so tight that you cease to exist, pretending everything is cool.
8. Watch as Taking Back Sunday takes the stage, glad this will all be over soon.
9. Listen to the opening chords of “Set Phasers To Stun” and suddenly GET IT. NO, LIKE, FOR REAL, MAN.
10. Sing along to the few songs you know, hoping the girl next to you doesn’t notice your new-found passion for the music is anger and sadness aimed at her.
11. Go home, changed. Buy every Taking Back Sunday album and multiple t-shirts. Memorize every lyric.
12. Get complimented by Hayley Williams at Warped Tour because you wore a dope TBS shirt. Resolve to listen to more Paramore.
13. Don’t listen to all that much more Paramore.
14. Continue to be best friends with the girl who dumped you before the Taking Back Sunday concert, because she’s cool and you are, after all, now the kind of guy who listens to Taking Back Sunday.
15. While working for your college paper, convince a Warner publicist to let you interview a member of Taking Back Sunday.
16. Be stoked even though it’s the guy who just joined the band a few months prior (and would leave a couple months later).
17. Interview said member of Taking Back Sunday and love every minute of it because HE’S IN TAKING BACK SUNDAY and also geeks out over the music as much as you do.
18. Double down, and get a chance to interview two members of Taking Back Sunday live on the campus radio station.
19. Have interview cancelled by station management in order to do a live session with one of the opening acts of the same show because they’re cooler and more indie.
20. Laugh your ass off about that situation years later because the cooler, hipper band your chance to meet members of Taking Back Sunday got cancelled for was FUN., now perhaps the least hip band this side of the Eagles.
21. Still hope to meet Adam Lazzara, John Nolan, Eddie Reyes, Mark O’Connell, Fred Mascherino, and/or Matt Rubano one day.
22. Finally, after 12 years, kiss the girl you took to the Taking Back Sunday concert for the first time.
23. Enjoy the hell out of it, but be rejected again.
24. Cure your blues this time with a quick session of screaming along to Tell All Your Friends and Where You Want To Be. Continue to be best friends (see #14).
25. Consider making this list 152 items long, realize no one will read it.
26. Continue, well into your mid-twenties, to appreciate a band that grows and changes and evolves as much as you do.
27. Plan a trip back to your hometown around a Taking Back Sunday concert, because ticket resellers made the price of going in your current city too expensive.
28. Listen to Taking Back Sunday and sing along while writing an article like this.
29. Delete a part of item #27 about wondering if your friends will like such an article because it feels like fishing.
30. Fish away.
31. Realize, as you’re winding down your piece, that your friend Eric Sundermann already wrote about Taking Back Sunday better than you ever could.
32. “Read the lyrics. A lot of their songs have really great lyrics. If you try to understand them, you might get a lot more out of some songs.”
Really funny Chicago comedian Dave Losso is going through some shit, and has come up with possibly the best way ever to deal with it. You’re going to want to follow this Tumblr.
Hey. My name’s Dave. I’m a comedian and I live in Chicago and I got dumped after a three year relationship. After tomorrow, I’ll no longer have a bed or a TV or someone living with me (for the time being). So I’ve decided to build a fort in my front room and live in it for 40 days. I’ll document those 40 days in photos, videos, artwork and all those other things. Y’know, the things. And hopefully you’ll look at them and say “Oh ok, cool.”
I’ll also have guests come by to visit so I can interview them about things like heartbreak, happiness, relationships and life in general. We’ll tell jokes, sing songs, laugh, hug, eat food probably. I want this to be a learning experience, not just a sad dude in a blanket fort.
Pictured above are my expert schematics for said fort, which will be constructed tomorrow (3/29/14), with tomorrow night being my first night sleeping in it. I’m gonna post my first video sometime tomorrow evening.
I’m looking forward to this. I think this’ll be good.
Let’s be happy.
Going on a small Midwest tour in March!
Windy City Invasion will be hitting Des Moines, Lincoln, and Minneapolis March 19-21. Featuring John Eide, Keith Paesal, Chris Damen and myself.
Should be a hell of a time. More info at the links below.
Des Moines: https://www.facebook.com/events/663823440322400/
Here’s a video I’ll deny the existence of in three months.